Tom MacKay’s NLP Blog

NLP is all about creating the future you want today. A couple of days ago I watched the first episode of the new series Flash Forward – it looks like it is going to be another compelling show. In it, during a mass blackout, people see a future time and then they begin to piece what is going on.

Many people are fascinated by trying to predict the future. People go to fortune tellers, read astrological charts and all sorts of other things.

I think the most important thing to realise is that nothing is ‘fixed’ and we can shape our own destiny. Fortune telling may be fun, but don’t let it influence your behaviours or beliefs about what is possible!

I just finished running our INLPTA sanctioned NLP Coach Practitioner training. A truly outstanding and dedicated group of students who I know are going to become great coaches. The more I see people experiencing coaching, the more powerful a medium for change I realise it is. Having someone else to give feedback and support our journey in achieving our outcomes is a great thing.

Coaching is not about advising, it is about helping the client to find the answers from withing. We all have incredible resources within us and all we need to do is tap into them

It reminded me of a great quote that helps understand how we can create the lives we want:

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. – Emerson

Today I started running our NLP Coach Practitioner training. We put on several NLP coaching trainings each year and it is a training I really enjoy running. The INLPTA coach practitioner training I helped create with Dr Wyatt Woodsmall in response to the many coaching trainings that have sprung up around the UK, many of which offer very short trainings to certify people as coaches after minimal training. We thought that coaches should really have proper training that takes time to really master the skills. As such, people may only attend our Coach Practitioner training after having completed the NLP Practitioner training and may only complete the Master Coach training after completing a NLP Master Practitioner training. This means that when finishing the Master Coach training, students will have had almost 40 days of detailed training in the most advanced coaching methods available.

A few months ago my mother became very ill. It made me really consider again what I really want out of life.

Sometimes when a major event happens in our life it pushes us into re-evaluating our life and take action on the things we really want. So many people get stuck doing something they don’t really want to do and think ‘one day I can retire and enjoy life’, however when they get to retirement age they don’t live to enjoy it. My father was one example of that!

In NLP we encourage people to follow the belief that ‘the past does not create your future’ and that you can create the future of your dreams – and the time to do that is NOW!

I have just finished running a training at a beautiful country house with an incredible view across fields, trees and a stunning fountain. This is part of a new project – more about this in a later blog.

It is always interesting to have students come on a course having attended another NLP Practitioner training and discover the differences. It seems that some NLP trainings are completely different! That is why I always encourage students to follow the full INLPTA Practitioner training which lasts 15 days with our courses. We break this into modules, where the 7 day Practitioner can be completed and then followed by the 6 day hypnotherapy and language pattern training and then the 2 day advanced practitioner workshop.

This NLP blog is going to continue the theme of networking and how NLP can play a major role.

One major experience our students find is how actually attending our NLP trainings is a wonderful networking experience. Not only do many students go on to become great friends after the training and continue to set up their own practice groups, but also many students have actually set up businesses with people they met on the training. NLP attracts a wonderful variety of people – on our trainings people come from all sorts of backgrounds, but there is a common theme of wanting to improve their lives, relationships and contribute to the people around them.

In an earlier NLP blog I talked about the NLP principles for success – Know your outcome, take action, notice the feedback and have behavioural flexibility.

In terms of being successful in setting up a business, many people fall short on the second step – Take Action!

I know many dreamers who come up with wonderful ideas that could take them to new levels of success, however never do anything about them.

Over the next few blogs I will talk about some of the things I have found stop them from getting the success they want.

The first stage is to have a clear plan and kmnow what you want – however what hurdles do people who become successful overcome?

One thing thing someone asked me recently was how to network effectively and how could NLP training help.

NLP offers many essential skills to help someone network. The most obvious of these is in how to build rapport, which we covered in detail in some recent blogs.

Another important area is in outcome setting.

I know a lot of people who have gone to networking events without a clear outcome in mind. They often leave the events feeling it was a waste of time, whereas other people who had clear outcomes can achieve a lot.

Whether you outcome is to hand out 50 business cards, or to get someone to sign up for a sample session, having the outcome is going to improve your chance of success.

So what is it that you want?

Our early examples of matching happen when we are babies. Many parents when they try to settle  baby will gently rock the baby in time with its breathing and gradually slow down the movement until it goes to sleep.

Next time you are with someone you are close to and sitting together, try matching the other person’s breathing – watch the movement and location of their breathing and begin to breathe in time with them. After a little time you may be surprised at the depth of rapport this can produce.

Some time ago I was traveling on a train that broke down and to keep myself challenged I decided to match the person’s breathing who was sitting opposite me. We began a conversation and built a great level of rapport.

Today I remembered a former student who attended an NLP training many years ago. He worked with horses and had an amazing skill at calming anxious horses. He excelled in his ability to use NLP and was highly creative in applying his skills in a range of areas. 

One thing he utilised from the rapport skills he learned on the training was matching breathing. He applied this principle in his work with horses. There was a horse that was very anxious and he got within a range that was close enough to still be comfortable. He started to move his hand in time with the horses breathing. After a little time he then began to slow his hand movement down, and having built rapport with the horse, the horse sure enough began to calm down.

This was a highly creating application of matching.