Tom MacKay’s NLP Blog

Yesterday I talked about setting outcomes. Going for the outcome is not the only stage – you also want to enjoy the journey. On our NLP Practitioner training we encourage students to set clear outcomes, but also to focus on enjoying the journey.

Last year we went to Thailand. Thailand we found to be one of the most beautiful and friendly places in the world. However the airline we flew with was less than beautiful. The flight was cheap, however it was about 24 hours of less than friendly service with poor facilities. When we got there we felt exhausted and didn’t real enjoy the first day of the holiday. Had we traveled with a more comfortable airline, we might have arrived feeling more refreshed.

That was only a short journey, however some peoples’ arduous journeys seem to last most of their lives and they don’t get a chance to enjoy it when they get there.

So have a clear outcome, enjoy the journey and love the destination when you get there!

Quote for today…

There are two things to aim at in life; first to get what you want, and after that to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind has achieved the second.

Logan Pearsall Smith

One major part of attending an NLP Training is learning that we can have some control over our emotions – that emotions don’t just happen to us, however we can influence them.
For example, we don’t need to get upset every time someone pushes past us on public transport, this is something we have choice about. In fact, maybe you have noticed that some people get upset by some things that other people find amusing – how is that possible!
This is because we all have very different ‘maps of the world’ based on our past experience, beliefs, etc.
If we have been taught as a child it is rude and aggressive to push past people, we will project that belief on other people in the future.
To experience positive emotions fully, one major thing to do is to be in the present – the following quote is a good example of this:

Men spend their lives in anticipations,—in determining to be vastly happy at some period when they have time. But the present time has one advantage over every other—it is our own. Past opportunities are gone, future have not come. We may lay in a stock of pleasures, as we would lay in a stock of wine; but if we defer the tasting of them too long, we shall find that both are soured by age.

Charles Caleb Colton

The first part of any NLP Practitioner Training starts with setting outcomes. As you are reading this blog now, when was the last time you took to set some outcomes?

What is it that you really want?

On our NLP training we encourage students to be specific and positive in deciding their outcomes. By specific, it includes being measurable and well defined – losing weight would be too vague – setting a clear measurable target is critical. 

By positive, we mean say what you want and not what you don’t want. Many people know what they don’t want but don’t know what they do want – a little like being in a boat with no idea about destination – you may drift around and never find anything you like. So first, decide what you want…

Here is another great quote…

The man who makes a success of an important venture never wails for the crowd. He strikes out for himself. It takes nerve, it takes a great lot of grit; but the man that succeeds has both. Anyone can fail. The public admires the man who has enough confidence in himself to take a chance. These chances are the main things after all. The man who tries to succeed must expect to be criticized. Nothing important was ever done but the greater number consulted previously doubted the possibility. Success is the accomplishment of that which most people think can’t be done.
C. V. White

I am still in Wales – yesterday we visited a lovely little farm, where they have converted it into a farm ‘theme’ park (of sorts!). It is basically still a normal farm that you can go into with a few extra features like crazy golf, bumper boats and a chance to ride behind a tractor. They have made something very basic they already had into something that works very well for visitors and provides a good extra side to their business.

All the world today is created on dreams – all the inventions we have from the car, to bluetooth were at some point dreams that were turned into reality. 

One way that many people have helped to turn their dreams into reality is on our NLP trainings. This is all about discovering what you want and how to achieve your dreams. The quote below I thought was very appropriate:

The question for each man to settle is not what he would do if he had means, time, influence and educational advantages; the question is what he will do with the things he has. The moment a young man ceases to dream or to bemoan his lack of opportunities and resolutely looks his conditions in the face, and resolves to change them, he lays the corner-stone of a solid and honorable success.
Hamilton Wright Mabie

This week I am in Wales in Cardigan – a lovely little town, where when I look out of the window I can see the beautiful bay surrounded by incredible scenery. I am having a few days off from running NLP trainings, although not off from the NLP business – I am constantly learning and developing and also running other aspects of the business. 

One important part of NLP training that people begin to learn on the NLP Practitioner training is called Sensory Acuity. This is where you develop your senses to pay more attention to all of the things that are happening around you and within you. For example, noticing patterns in people’s behaviour, like every time your best friend gets anxious they start to tap their finger. 

The first stage of this is self awareness and paying better attention to things – with this in mind I found this poem:

Do Less – Anon

DO LESS THINKING,
and pay more attention to your heart.
DO LESS ACQUIRING,
and pay more attention to what you already have.
DO LESS COMPLAINING,
and pay more attention to giving.
DO LESS CONTROLLING,
and pay more attention to letting go.
DO LESS CRITICIZING,
and pay more attention to complementing.
DO LESS ARGUING
and pay more attention to forgiveness.
DO LESS RUNNING AROUND,
and pay more attention to stillness.

DO LESS TALKING,
and pay more attention to silence.

Yesterday I was doing some filming for a television show which might go out on air next year, filming part of my NLP Practitioner training. It was in a lovely setting in Worcestershire – one of the most tranquil places in the country that I could run a course. In the run up to the NLP Trainer Training, we are making final arrangements for all the new ‘apprentice trainers’ who are about to join us on the course. High levels of certification are the most important thing to INLPTA – we only issue trainer certification with very careful assessment.

I found a very powerful quote which is very important in communication – there is a saying in NLP – ‘The meaning of the communication is the response you get’ and this quote is another way of saying this…

“Instead of making others right or wrong, or bottling up right and wrong in ourselves, there’s a middle way, a very powerful middle way…… Could we have no agenda when we walk into a room with another person, not know what to say, not make that person wrong or right? Could we see, hear, feel other people as they really are? It is powerful to practice this way….. true communication can happen only in that open space.”

Pema Chodron, Buddhist nun

After a day off from running the NLP Master Practitioner training it is great to reflect on the great opportunities and transformations in the new Master Practitioners who certified on Tuesday. It is always a pleasure to work with groups of people from all areas of life and share these techniques and principles that made such a difference in my own life.

The NLP Trainer Training is coming up in June and Dr Wyatt Woodsmall, the first ever certified Master Trainer of NLP will be traveling over from the USA. He wrote the book Timeline Therapy and The Basis of Personality with Tad James, once a former student of his.

I found this great quote from Mother Theresa

Life is…

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfil it.
Life is a sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.

This is the last day of the NLP Master Practitioner training. The students on the training have come a long way and today are doing exercises to integrate their experience and skills. At the end of the day, following assessment they will become certified NLP Master Practitioners, sanctioned by INLPTA and well as accredited by the ABNLP.

We have an NLP Trainer Training coming up in June, which is an opportunity for students to take their skills to the highest level. Teaching is one of the most powerful ways to integrate learnings to the deepest level.

An anonymous quote for the day is:

---

Think

If you think you are beaten, you are;

If you think you dare not, you don’t;

If you’d like to win but you think you can’t,

You can almost be certain you won’t.

If you think that you’ll lose, you are lost,

For out in the world you will find

Success begins with a person’s will;

It’s all in the state of the mind.

If you think you’re outclassed you are;

You’ve got to think high to rise.

You’ve just got to be sure of yourself

Before you can win the prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go

To a stronger or faster man;

But sooner or later the person who wins

Is the person that THINKS they can.

Monday morning  – on an NLP training this is another great time. Today on the NLP Master Practitioner training we have been exploring how to break through limiting beliefs that have been holding people back.

A quote for the day is from Nancy Sims:

Winners

Winners take chances like everyone else,
They fear failing, but they refuse to let fear control them.

Winners don’t give up,
When life gets tough, they hang in until the going gets better

Winners are flexible.
They realise there is more than one way and they are willing to try others.

Winners know they are not perfect.
They respect their weaknesses while making the most of their strengths.

Winners fall, but they don’t stay down.
They stubbornly refuse to let a fall keep them from climbing.

Winners don’t blame fate for their failures,
Nor luck for their successes.

Winners accept responsibility for their lives.

Winners are positive thinkers who see good in all things.
From the ordinary, they make the extraordinary.

Winners believe in the path they have chosen even when it’s hard,
Even when others can’t see where they are going.

Winners are patient.
They know a goal is only as worthy as the effort that’s required to achieve it.

Winners are people like you.
They make this world a better place to be.

Welcome again! I am still in the last module of running an NLP Master Practitioner training. Things are going great with a great group of students who are mastering their NLP skills and moving forwards with their dreams. I was reminded of a great quote from Goethe, which I think embodies some of the spirit in my teaching NLP:

Begin it Now

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:That the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.

Boldness has Genius, Power and Magic in it.
Begin it now.”- Goethe

Creating the life of our dreams starts with a dream. However, many people have a dream, but never take action to create it. Once you have the dream and a plan, the time to act is now!